Secret Stories

a story for Valentine. happy late Valentine !

---

The prince gave a kiss on Sleeping Beauty to wake her from her sleep..

---

"I know you," a girl sang in the spotlight, her light brown dress lifted high as she danced around, "I walk with you once.. upon.. a dreaaamm."

Dawn's mouth fell open as her purple-outlined glasses fell to her nose. She was kind of frightened of this.. figure singing in front of her. She had to look twice to make sure that the girl's eyelashes weren't artificial. The girl's hair was shiny brown, and again Dawn insisted herself that it was not a result of hair-dying, which was not really allowed in the school.

Dawn rolled her eyes at Kelly, who was sitting beside her. Kelly grinned widely. Dawn, afraid that her best friend would burst to her unstoppable (and often offensive) laugh like she usually did, waved her hand at the girl who was still singing, saying, "Enough."

The girl stopped. Her big blue eyes stared at Dawn like a little kitten begging for milk. "S-so?" she said. "How did I do there?"

"Hmm," replied Dawn, holding back her straightforward personality that often became too hurting in times like this. "Your name?"

"Maureen Wanda Folle," she said fast, pronouncing Wanda Folle like Wonder-Ful, and Dawn frowned. "Wanda Folle?" she repeated unbelievingly, seeing her list that clearly mentioned, Maureen Brown. "This is not a pun contest," she snorted sharply. "And.. your singing that you just did there, is so not the quality we're looking for."

"N-not the.. q-quality?" the wanda folle girl bursted into tears. "B-but Mommy said that my singing is--"

"Mommy is not a vocal teacher, Mommy can't understand notes, Mommy don't know music!!" cut Dawn. "Maureen," said Kelly, more gently, "what Dawn is trying to tell you, is--"

"Whatever!" Maureen sobbed, lifting up her long dress and went out of the auditorium.

-

"Seriously," said Dawn. "Does she really think that her dress makes her look like Aurora?"

"Don't be too rude, Dawn," warned Kelly.

"Ergggh," she said. Being not rude, was not her thing. Dawn was born with probably the honestest tongue in the world, she could not help holding what she thought without spitting it out of her mouth. She was too straightforward, and this kind of attitude was her only weakness in being the head of the school production team.

"How many more should we go?" she asked Kelly, who was too diligent and checked the long list of auditioners.

"So that Maureen girl is number 47," said Kelly. "We have 70 auditioners."

"No way," moaned Dawn. "Is it so hard just to find a perfect Aurora?"

Dawn, as the head of the school productions, was given a task to direct a play for the school's Valentine event. At first she suggested some plays (that involved a lot of fighting and blood), but it was Valentine. She first thought about having a Sleeping Beauty play when she was reminded of what Dawn means : aurora. So she began auditions to find perfect roles. So far, she had got the perfect Maleficient, and then Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather. And also Prince Phillip. The hardest part was finding the perfect Aurora.

"If auditioner number 48 fails, that's it," she threatened. "We'll change the play. I don't care how much I've strived to type the script, so--"

"Okay, Dawn," smiled Kelly. With a louder voice, she shouted, "Number 48!!"

A girl entered the auditorium without a voice, her footsteps so graceful and silent, as she bowed politely to Dawn and Kelly. Dawn checked her list. Alexis Brooke, 11C. Geez, the same level as her, although they were in different class! But this Alexis girl was too small and too timid to be an 11th grader. Her body was slim, but short, her pale brown hair and gray eyes were beautiful, but she kept on looking down.

"So you auditioned for Aurora?" asked Dawn. Alexis nodded.

"Sally, music!" commanded Dawn fast, to Sally, who had been patiently sitting in front of the piano for 2 hours.

Alexis opened her mouth to sing. Once Upon A Dream, just like the wanda-folle Maureen sang before. But this time, it was different. Dawn and Kelly were left breathless with her singing. Her voice was so soft, so alive, as if she was really in the forest, dancing with the morning breeze, in Aurora's forest dress. Dawn winked at Kelly. Now this is what I'm looking for, she thought.

"Okay stop," said Dawn. "Alexis?"

"Uhuh?" asked the girl shyly.

"Why are you so shy?" asked Dawn. "You have a wandafolle--sorry I mean wonderful--voice! You're the Aurora we're looking for!"

"Really?" Alexis's cloudy eyes widened, she stared at Dawn and Kelly happily. Kelly nodded. "Finally, after all this time sitting on this chair, there's something worth to watch!"

"Welcome to the school productions," Dawn stood up and shook Alexis's hand. "You'll receive the playscript soon, so.. way to go!"

---

Dawn was in the computer room, her laptop on the table, her eyes were focused on the screen. School was out half an hour ago, and the school was nearly empty (the only room still noisy was the detention room), but she had tonnes of job to do. One of them, was redoing some parts of her Sleeping Beauty script which was not too satisfying for the school.

"Busy?" a voice greeted her.

Dawn turned her head to the open door. "Jared.."

Jared took a stool and sat beside Dawn, peeking her work. "Ah, Miss Director is busy, I suppose," he said with a made-up royal accent.

"Oh, so now that I've chosen you as Prince, you began to act like one," Dawn slapped his back jokingly. "Shut up."

"Wow, the romance," Jared read Dawn's typings on the scene where Prince Phillip and Aurora first met, in the forest. "So you have a romantic side too, girl?"

"You kidding me," muttered Dawn. "If not, than who else could be the key to success in the school's High School Musical play last Christmas, or Romeo and Juliet last summer, or--"

"Yeah right," cut Jared. "I have the answer. Moi!!"

Dawn laughed. If there was a handsome dreamy guy at school who could steal hearts of the audiences in every school plays, it was Jared. Jared was an active member of the school productions team, often being the main role in every play. He could perfectly recite the dialogues Dawn had arranged for him--painful ones, romantic ones, wrathful ones, everything.

"So, who's the Aurora?'' he asked, because this time he was chosen as Prince Phillip. "I don't want those sweet words to be said if I have to say it to a dork or something."

"I've directed 13 school plays," said Dawn. "How could I choose a dork to be Aurora? You'll like your princess. Alexis Brooke from 11C, know her?"

"Alexis.." he paused for a minute. "Oh yea, isn't she that new girl who always stays in the corner?"

"Yep," agreed Dawn. "The shy type. But she has amazing skills, and you and her--perfect image!"

"Let's just see," Jared shrugged, and left the room. Dawn closed her Microsoft Word and tidied her laptop, before running out of the room with him.

---

"Uh!!"

Dawn drowned herself in her blanket and screamed as loud as her heart could. It was the sixth practice, and Valentine would be in two days.

No, it was not her major director dilemma. In fact, everything had been going perfectly fine. As everybody predicted, Alexis could soon enough forget her shy attitude and turn into a flawless Aurora as Dawn and Kelly wanted. She was also a quick-witted one, she did not take long to memorize the script Dawn had written for her, not like that stupid Flora or King Stephen who took a week just to memorize them.

And Jared--why ask? He was doing excellent as usual. Maybe he was the playful, loud kind of guy on the outside, but when he stepped on stage and the spotlight shone on him, he would morph into a captivating prince, amazing Dawn and all the other crews. But mostly Dawn.

This was not a surprise, really. Dawn had spent every school production moment with him, seen him becoming different dreamy figures she always wanted, so how could she not fall for this guy? She had always enjoyed having him as company, and surely some had said that she just chose Jared again, this time, because of her feelings.

That was partly right, but Dawn was a fair director.

But things weren't really going well for Dawn now.

It had been three weeks of practise, twice in a week, and Alexis had been closer and closer to Jared day by day. Every recess they would sit on one table and recite dialogues together, and every time school was out Jared offered Alexis a drive home. Dawn could only watch. And slowly, a new feeling crept into her heart.

What was this? Dawn had never felt like this before. Dawn was not a jealous type. Why should she be? She had a lot of true friends in school, she achieved good marks, she had such a strong position in school as the head of school productions.. but it was not easy to watch the guy whom she had been spending time with all along, slowly drifting away from her and got into a 'friendly' relationship with Alexis. They were always together, every second. Uh, why did she choose Alexis to be Aurora in the first place?

-

It was all her fault. Dawn sat still on her bed, plugging her earphones on the loudest possible volume, her heart still burning with envy. That afternoon, they were finally practising the finale, where the prince would wake the princess with his true love kiss.

Damn that Alexis girl..

Dawn closed her eyes, as a song was played on the radio. Taylor Swift. She used to love this song so much, she used to scream along to this song as Jared slammed his guitar, but now? She could only stay still as cold droplets roll through her cheek, and then to her chin. Was she crying? She did not even remember the last time she cried and now? She was crying, just over a guy?

Dawn, you crybaby..

She drowned her mind into the lyrics of the song, which seemed louder and louder every second.

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you.. been here all along, so why can't you see? You belong with me.. Standing there and waiting at your back door, all this time, how could you not know, baby? You belong with me.. You belong with me..

"Jared, I'm right here.." Dawn's hand moved to her cellphone. It was a pic of her, Jared and Kelly, which she took last year when they went on a vacation together. "How could you not notice me at all? I've been here all along, Jared.."

Have you ever thought, just maybe, you belong with me?

-

"It's show day!!" shouted Kelly excitedly, all the crew gathered in the backstage, all thrilled and controlled by nervousness. The decoration team had finished decorating the stage for the first scene--a palace, where Aurora was first born. Together, they gathered to help the actors to dress up.

Alexis was ready for her first appearance. She looked amazing, Aurora's blue gown fit perfectly on her. Dawn watched in disgust. She hated that Alexis girl more than ever now.

Dawn peeped the auditorium. It was different now, with fluffy, pink hearts all over the walls. The ushers were already there, their heads 'beautified' (at least Kelly thought it's beautiful) with a heart-patterned hairband. Dawn walked to one of the dressing rooms, where she heard Jared's voice.

"Hey."

Jared was sitting in front of a mirror. He was also all dressed up, with his knightly suit for the first appearance where he walked through the forest and met Aurora. This time, his princely face was blanketed by nervousness.

"What if I can't do this?" he asked Dawn. Dawn sat beside him and circled her hands around him. "C'mon buddy," she said. "We've been through a lot together. I trust you.."

"Thanks," he smiled. "Dawn.. you're like the writer of my life. And this," he pointed at the Sleeping Beauty script on his table, "this is one of the greatest stories you've set up in my life."

Dawn smiled. "Honestly I don't really like this story," she admitted.

"So what do you like?"

"Prince Phillip left the forest after meeting Aurora," Dawn said, "and on his way, he met another princess..

"And when he saw her, he thought, this is the Sleeping Beauty I'm supposed to be with.. this is the girl I've been looking for my whole life.

"So he fell for her, and took her as his princess. Forever.."

After that, a very long silence clouded the room. Jared stared at her. "You know what?" His voice broke the silence. "I like that one better."

Dawn was startled. "What?"

"Aurora, I.. I love you."

And then, he slided closer to her and kissed her.

-

But everything faded away with that kiss, and now Dawn found herself standing behind the stage, a thousand applouses flooded the auditorium. Jared and Dawn were dancing on the palace ballroom. It was already the finale?

So it was just her daydreaming..

And finally, the dancing ended. Everyone stood up as all the cast came forward to give their one last bow.. but Dawn did not move from her spot. She felt tears collecting in her eyes, as she remembered one of the sentences she had written on her script.

The prince gave a kiss on Sleeping Beauty to wake her from her sleep..

"And you did wake me up, Jared," she whispered in tears, as she remembered her dream before. "You wake me up from my aimless, endless dream about you.. You wake me up and make me realize, that it's not meant to be.."

She watched as Jared and Alexis held hands and bowed together. Yea, Alexis was much more worthed than herself. And maybe, she would be so much better without him.

---

14/02/10

Prologue

Langit pagi itu begitu cerah, dengan bercak-bercak awan keunguan di permukaannya yang pucat. Angin segar menyapu rambutku, seakan-akan menandakan hari yang menyenangkan.. Ditambah lagi, pemandangan bangunan agung bermenara 4 dihadapanku, terlihat begitu memesona. Dari dulu aku memang paling suka gereja-gereja ala Romawi kuno begini.

Tapi kali ini, tidak..

Dengan langkah berat aku melangkah masuk. Sambil berkali-kali menyalahkan diriku, yang tak seharusnya datang kesini..

---

Chapter One

Pikiranku melayang. 1 bulan yang lalu, hari pertama semester musim gugur..

Kali ini tidak boleh terlambat! Aku berlari sepanjang koridor yang masih agak ramai, mataku tertuju pada jam yang melingkar di tanganku. Nah, akhirnya sampai juga. Dengan lega kupandang label besar di pintu coklat itu : 11B.

"Nahh, ini dia superstar kita!!" sambut anak-anak lelaki di deretan belakang dengan ricuh saat aku masuk. "Selamat datang kembali, Julian!!"

Aku langsung dikerumuni teman-temanku, menanyakan liburanku dan sebagainya. Kisah liburan musim panas memang biasanya paling asyik untuk diceritakan.

Perbincangan kami tak berlangsung lama, mengingat aku tiba di kelas hanya 5 menit sebelum pelajaran dimulai. Sedikit menyesal harus menghentikan ceritaku tentang jalan-jalan di Paris, aku kembali ke tempat dudukku.

Sesosok asing memasukki kelas.

O iya, guru baru. Aku teringat pada perkataan Sid, salah seorang sahabatku, bahwa di semester ini kita akan kedatangan guru baru.

"Pagi, semua," sebuah suara lembut, tapi menunjukkan ketegasan, menyapa kami semua. Aku memerhatikan guru itu dengan penuh perhatian, sama halnya dengan seluruh anak di kelasku. Wah, ini sih memang 180 derajat berbeda dengan guru kelas kami yang sebelumnya, Miss Tripps! Miss Tripps begitu tua, kuno, guru parobaya tak berkeluarga dengan kacamata kecil dan rambut yang selalu disanggul, suram dan agak lusuh pakaian-pakaiannya. Selama ini menjadi anak dibawah asuhannya begitu menyakitkan, mendengar wejengan dan ajarannya lebih parah daripada menonton pantomim.

Tapi guru ini, rasanya aku akan bisa menyukainya.

Bagaimana tidak?

Guru ini tak mungkin lebih tua dari 25 tahun. Ia wanita muda berwajah segar dan berparas halus. Rambutnya yang keemasan, berombak melingkar di bahunya yang putih, begitu serasi dengan sepasang mata biru yang begitu jernih, indah. Pakaiannya jauh berbeda dari pakaian Miss Trips yang kuduga sebagai daster yang didaur ulang. Ia mengenakan terusan kotak-kotak abu-abu dan hitam, lalu dilapisi kardigan hitam. Ia memandang sekeliling dengan ramah.

"Namaku, Miss Constantia van Louise. Panjang, bukan?" katanya memperkenalkan diri. "Hari ini sebaiknya kalian sepakat, hendak memanggilku apa. Miss Constantia, atau Miss Louise. Terserah kalian, dua-duanya aku suka."

Wah, ia begitu bersahabat, pikirku. Drake di sebelahku mengedipkan mata padaku. Ya, kurasa seisi kelas menyukai guru ini. Lalu anak-anak yang lebih aktif di kelas menyahut, "Miss Constantia!"

Miss Constantia mengangguk. "Kalau begitu aku Miss Constantia," katanya tersenyum ramah, memutar tubuh, lalu duduk di meja guru dengan langkah anggun. Saat ia memunggungi kami semua, beberapa teman disekelilingku mulai berbisik-bisik.

"Gilaa, ini sih baru guru!!" kata Sid puas.

"Lo liat, nggak, matanya? Tertuju ke gue terus!!" tambah Drake pede.

"Ngaco kalian," tukasku.

"Ahh, apa bagusnya mata," kata Ray, temanku yang lain. Ia iseng mengambil pensil, lalu menggambar gitar. "Bodinya itu loh, gokil!!"

Tapi ucapan-ucapan perkumpulan anak-anak mesum ini terhenti ketika Miss Constantia berbalik kembali kearah kami, matanya meneliti selembar kertas yang sepertinya adalah daftar nama kami.

"Boleh aku tau, ketua kelas disini?" tanyanya.

Dengan segera aku mengangkat tangan, berbarengan dengan koor kompak teman-temanku yang mengatakan, "Julian."

Miss Constantia mengangguk kearahku, dan aku membalasnya dengan senyum sopan. "Nah, kau tetap pada jabatanmu semester ini," ucapnya dengan nada yang begitu menggetarkan hatiku. Wah, aku ini apa? Masakan merasa begini pada guruku sendiri! Cepat-cepat kuhapuskan bayanganku yang aneh-aneh tentang wanita muda yang berdiri dihadapanku ini.

"Sedangkan yang lain, semester ini aku ingin kalian bekerja dua kali lebih giat, mengingat ujian yang akan datang," jelasnya cepat, disusul desahan-desahan putus asa disekelilingku, seolah-olah ada yang akan disembelih. Aku hanya terdiam, melewati ujian bukan hal yang terlalu ekstrim untuk kulakukan. "Tapi tentu saja itu tidak akan dimulai hari ini. Hari ini aku akan membagikan tes kecil, untuk menguji kemampuan kalian. Sebagai wali kelas baru, tentu aku ingin tau potensi kalian semua."

Miss Constantia berjalan ke setiap bangku-bangku yang ada di baris depan, untuk membagikan lembaran ujian yang akan dioperkan ke baris belakang. Ketika sampai ke bangkuku (iya, aku duduk di barisan depan), ia berhenti sebentar. "Julian, aku ada tugas untukmu," katanya. "Boleh, kan?"

"A--" sesaat lidahku serasa kelu, berbicara dengannya. "Ah, tentu boleh, memang apa ya, Miss?"

"Kamu buat susunan duduk ini, di kertas, lalu serahkan padaku sepulang sekolah," perintah Miss Constantia. "Lalu tulis daftar nama-nama anak yang terlibat di organisasi sekolah, misalnya menjadi ketua club sekian, menjadi ketua olahraga dan sebagainya. Bisa, kan?"

"Tentu, Miss Constantia," kataku. Sudah biasa bagi guru-guru baru menyerahkan tugas begini kepada ketua kelas.

"Terima kasih," ujarnya sambil tersenyum.

---

Bel di koridor sudah lama berdering, sekolah kini nyaris kosong. Aku baru kembali dari rapat ketua kelas, dan dengan agak malas merapikan tasku ketika kudengar langkah kaki berirama datang mendekat.

"Miss Constantia," kataku, karena dialah yang datang. Ia membereskan mejanya, mengambil tas, bersiap-siap pulang.

"Julian."

"Ini, tugas Anda," aku menyodorkan dua lembar kertas. Satu kertas susunan duduk, satu kertas data murid. Ia menelitinya sekilas, lalu mengangguk. "Terima kasih banyak," katanya.

"Sama-sama, Miss," balasku. Aku membuka pintu kelas untuknya keluar terlebih dahulu, setelah itu aku keluar menyusulnya.

Kami berdua berjalan beriringan di koridor.

"Kamu sudah lama bersekolah disini?" tanya Miss Constantia dengan ramah. Aku menggeleng. "Baru 2 tahun yang lalu," jawabku.

"Wah, kalau begitu kamu pasti luar biasa, ya, langsung bisa menjadi ketua kelas," puji Miss Constantia. "Ah, biasa aja lah Miss," senyumku rendah hati. "Anda sendiri.. mengapa bisa mengajar disini?"

"Aku baru lulus sekolah sastra," cerita Miss Constantia, seulas senyum muncul di bibirnya. "Aku memang sangat suka menulis. Jadi di sekolah ini, sebetulnya aku melamar sebagai guru tata bahasa. Tapi nyatanya aku sekaligus ditawari menjadi wali kelas. Sebenarnya.. hmm--tunanganku, yang mengusulkan aku bekerja disini bersamanya."

Tunangan?

Berusaha menjaga wibawa seorang murid, aku hanya bertanya dengan nada santai yang agak dipaksakan (hasilnya buruk, kurasa senyumku lebih mirip seringai penuh hasrat ingin melahap orang), "Tunangan Anda disini, Miss?"

Miss Constantia mengiyakan dengan satu anggukan. "Ia sudah lama bekerja disini," jelasnya. "Kurasa kau mengenalnya, Julian."

"Kalau boleh tau, siapa, Miss?" tanyaku hati-hati. Salah langkah! Rasanya aku belum siap mendengar jawabannya.

"Sir Clayton, guru olahraga."

Dugaanku tepat. Diantara guru-guru priaku yang lain (semuanya pria dingin berjanggut dan agak kurang waras), Sir Clayton-lah yang paling muda, waras, dan menyenangkan. Guru olahraga yang paling bisa bergaul dengan murid-muridnya, ditambah lagi ia memang tampan. Perlahan kubayangkan sosok Sir Clayton di benakku, lalu kuletakkan gambaran Miss Constania di sebelahnya. Ya, mereka berdua memang cocok.

"Oh," jawabku pelan.

Kami telah sampai ke pintu depan. Sebuah mobil hitam terparkir didepan, dan Miss Constantia melambai. "Itu Clayton," ucapnya. "Sampai nanti, Julian."

"Oke," sebelum aku sempat mengatakannya, ia sudah masuk kedalam mobil. Entah Sir Clayton memang melihatku atau Miss Constantia menyuruhnya, pokoknya mobil itu membunyikan klakson sekali lalu pergi.

Motor Harley-Davidson milik Kenneth, kakakku, sudah ada disitu juga. Kenneth menunggu dengan tak sabar.

"Lama, ya," ucapnya menyodorkan helm.

"Sori, Ken," aku nyengir dan melompat naik. Mesin Harley-Davidson-nya menderum keras.

"Tadi itu siapa?"

"Yang cewek?"

"Iya.."

"Wali kelas baruku," kataku. "Miss Constantia. Cakep, ya? Akhirnya Miss Tripps pensiun juga!"

"Banget,'' komentar Kenneth.

"Dan Ken.. lo tau sesuatu?" tambahku.

"Hn?"

"Dia itu, pacarnya Sir Clayton. Cocok banget, yah?"

Kenneth mengangguk. Lalu, motor kami melaju cepat menuju rumah.

---

Chapter Two

Aku membawa sebuah map di tanganku. Sekarang sudah akhir September, dan aku sebagai ketua kelas diharuskan menuliskan laporan kehadiran setiap anak selama sebulan itu untuk Miss Constantia. Hari demi hari aku semakin tergila-gila padanya. Ya ya ya, aku tau ia sudah 24 (aku melihatnya di Facebook) dan bahkan sudah punya tunangan, tapi cinta tak harus memilikki, kan? Lagipula aku bahkan tak tau perasaan apa yang kumiliki terhadapnya. Mungkin aku hanya sekedar kagum. Mungkin, karena terlalu lama dibayang-bayangi sosok mengerikan Miss Tripps, image seorang 'guru' di otakku memang sudah dimanipulasi. Bagiku guru hanya wanita berpakaian panjang dan rapi, berkacamata lalu berIQ 200, yang akan menggunakan segala cara untuk membuatmu mengerti pelajarannya.

Tapi saat aku mengenal Miss Constantia, segalanya berbeda. Miss Constantia paling tau cara menghiburmu, cara menyegarkan matamu yang hampir mengantuk saat jatah pelajarannya adalah jam terakhir sebelum pulang, dan aku bahkan menyesali hari-hari libur yang biasa kutunggu-tunggu, karena itu berarti berkurang 1 hari kesempatanku bertemu dengannya. Miss Constantia memang paling akrab denganku, karena posisiku sebagai ketua kelas (yang sangat aku syukuri). Tapi memang Miss Constantia begitu mudah bergaul dengan semua murid.

Aku terpaku didepan ruang guru. Aku baru hendak mengetuk pintu, saat kudengar seru-seruan didalam. Begitu ramai.

"Serius, nih?!" Itu suara Miss Gwendoline, guru matematika. "Enak lo ya, nyusul-nyusul gue!"

"Ya ampun, selamat ya, Constantia." Itu sepertinya suara Miss Phyllis atau Miss Megans, aku tidak begitu yakin.

Apa-apaan.. aku begitu penasaran. Aku mendengarkan lebih jelas.

"Wahh kita semua diundang!" seru guru lain, aku tak begitu memedulikan siapa kini. "Wah wah wah, terima kasih banyak, Constantia!"

"Nggak nyangka banget, ya, baru 3 tahun jadian, udah ambil komitmen untuk menikah, gue salut!"

Nah, tak ada lagi yang perlu kudengar sekarang. Aku mundur selangkah dari tempatku berdiri. Lututku lemah, rasanya aku bisa jatuh setiap saat. Miss Constantia.. menikah?

Aku mengetuk pintu perlahan-lahan.

"Oh, Julian," sapa Miss Megans.

"Aku hendak mencari Miss Constantia," ucapku sopan. Miss Megans mempersilahkanku masuk.

"Miss," panggilku. Miss Constantia tampak merenung di mejanya, matanya yang biru kini agak redup sinarnya, tampak menerawang.

"I-iya?" tampaknya ia sedari tadi sedang melamun..

"Ini, laporan yang Anda minta," kataku menyodorkan map.

"Terima kasih, Julian," ujarnya. "Julian.."

"Iya?"

Ini dia, pikirku. Ia menyerahkan sesuatu kepadaku. Sebuah undangan, yang kata-katanya ditulis dengan tinta emas.

"Aku akan menikah," ia tersenyum. "Aku akan senang... sekali, kalau kau datang."

Aku membalas senyumnya. "Pasti," kataku. "Teman-teman yang lain bagaimana?"

"Yah, undanglah Sid atau Drake atau teman-temanmu yang lain," katanya. "Aku akan senang sekali. Tapi aku memang.. aku memang akan senang, kalau kau datang, Julian."

Seperti biasa, kata-katanya dan segala tingkah lakunya selalu bisa membuatku tak berdaya. Aku hanya mengangguk.

"Aku permisi, Miss."

---

"Aku benci padamu, Clayton!!"

Langkahku terhenti mendengar pekikan yang berasal dari dalam ruangan guru itu. Itu kan, suara Miss Constantia..

Seperti biasa hari itu aku pulang agak telat. Kali ini karena lembur dikejar deadline. Jadi tim jurnalis untuk newsletter bulanan sekolah memang menyedihkan.

Apa aku tak salah dengar?

"Kau pikir aku akan mau menikahimu kalau bukan demi anak itu!" sambar sebuah suara lain. Suara Sir Clayton. Aku tersentak. Anak?

Kini terdengar isakan samar-samar, lalu suara seolah-olah seseorang jatuh terenyak di kursi. "Wanita cengeng! Bisanya menangis, menangis terus!! Aku tak mau dengar apa-apa lagi," tukas suara Sir Clayton, lalu terdengar suara pintu diputar. Dengan sigap aku bersembunyi dibalik sebuah tembok. Sir Clayton meninggalkan koridor dengan langkah-langkah keras.

Aku langsung masuk kedalam ruangan kosong itu. Miss Constantia sedang menangis, wajahnya terbenam di kedua tangannya yang basah karena air mata.

"Miss," panggilku pelan. Kutarik sebuah kursi dan duduk disebelahnya. Sesaat agaknya ia belum menyadari kehadiranku.

"Julian," isakannya melemah, dan tiba-tiba saja ia langsung membenamkan wajahnya ke dadaku dan membasahi kausku dengan air matanya.

Sekarang apa yang harus kulakukan?

Oke, aku memang lemah dalam masalah seperti ini. Seumur hidup baru sekali ini, seorang wanita menangis dihadapanku. Aku tak tau apa yang harus kulakukan pada Miss Constantia yang masih terus menangis. Dengan kaku, aku menjulurkan tanganku dan memeluknya.

"Miss, Anda tau Anda bisa menceritakan apa saja padaku," ujarku lembut.

"Soal ini tidak, Julian.."

"Miss," kataku hati-hati. "Kurasa aku mendengar pembicaraanmu dengan Sir Clayton, tadi.."

"Kau mendengarnya?" Miss Constantia terkaget. "Julian.."

"Tolong katakan dugaanku ini salah," pintaku takut.

Miss Constantia menggeleng. "Julian," katanya pelan-pelan. "Aku mengandung anak Sir Clayton. Pernikahan itu semata-mata hanya untuk itu saja. Sungguh, aku tak lagi mencintainya."

"Ya Tuhan," bisikku. Aku tak mampu berkata-kata lagi setelah itu. "Aku.. aku turut bersedih."

"Apa yang kulakukan," nada suara Miss Constantia terdengar berbeda setelah itu. "Mengapa aku disini, menangis didepanmu, curhat pada muridku sendiri? Aku harus pulang."

Murid, lagi-lagi murid. Aku benci kata itu. Aku benci, bahwa hubunganku dengannya hanya sebatas guru-murid..

"Constantia," panggilku dengan keras, entah apa yang mendorongku begitu lancang padanya. "Constantia.. kapan kau akan berhenti menganggapku muridmu?"

Ia tak menjawab.

"Kapan kau akan menganggapku sebagai.. sebagai seorang lelaki?" Setelah itu aku memeluknya erat-erat. Tapi tak sepatah katapun meluncur dari mulutnya. Begitu juga denganku. Mungkin, kesunyian ini telah menjawab segala pertanyaanku.

---

Chapter Three


Aku menghentikan pikiranku yang terus-menerus melayang ke masa itu. Setelah itu, memang hari-hari serasa begitu pelan. Kebanyakan waktuku, kuhabiskan menangis habis-habisan di kamar. Sampai, hari ini..

10 Oktober. Setelah berkali-kali meyakinkan diriku bahwa ini memang sudah tanggal 10 Oktober, tanggal sial yang akan menjadi saksi bisu pernikahan Constantia itu, aku pun melangkah masuk dalam gereja.

Gereja itu sudah sesak dipenuhi begitu banyak tamu yang hadir. Aku merapikan kancing jasku sekali lagi sebelum masuk. Sid dan Drake, sudah hadir. Mereka tampak agak sedikit berbeda (dan lebih konyol) dengan jas yang mereka gunakan.

"Kurang tidur?" tanya Sid prihatin.

"Hah?"

"Mata lo merah banget," komentarnya pendek. Sialan. Apa aku terlalu banyak menangis?

"Nice tux," komentar Drake, menarik dasiku dengan iseng-iseng. Aku menepiskan tangannya dengan malas.

"Eaa, yang lagi suram menyaksikan wanita tercintanya nikah," goda Sid dan Drake. Aku merengut. Aku tak pernah mengakui pada mereka (walaupun mereka sahabat terdekatku) bahwa aku memang jatuh cinta pada Constantia, sepertinya tindak-tandukku sudah terlebih dahulu membuka kartu. Uh.

"Diem dong!" semprotku, tapi detik berikutnya musik indah mulai mengalun.

Semua menoleh kearah pintu, dimana Constantia berdiri dengan anggunnya. Gaunnya yang putih sangat sederhana, namun itu saja sudah membuatnya terlalu cantik untuk kupandang. Terlalu cantik, untuk bersanding dengan pria brengsek itu.

Constantia tiba di altar, tempat Sir Clayton sudah berdiri. Senyum bahagia merekah di wajah mereka, dan ini membuatku terheran-heran. Mereka yang kemarin-kemarin saling mengadu teriakkan dan bentakan, kini terlihat begitu bahagia..

Lalu ucapan panjang sang pastur. Aku tak akan menuliskannya karena saat itu aku sudah setengah tertidur (bilang aja ga hapal), tapi kurasa kata-katanya berakhir seperti ini, "Apa yang telah dipersatukan Tuhan, tak dapat dipisahkan oleh manusia."

Lalu semuanya bertepuk tangan. "Ada yang tidak setuju atau hendak mengatakan sesuatu tentang pernikahan ini?" pastur itu berucap.

Ya. Aku. Bisakah aku menghentikan pernikahan ini? Pernikahan ini lebih pantas bila dilaksanakan untukku dan Constantia, bukan pria sialan yang hanya bisa menyakitinya itu. Constantia, kau terlalu berharga untuknya.. tapi itu semua hanya jeritan dalam hatiku. Karena itu pastur itu tersenyum lalu mengatakan, "Dengan ini aku umumkan kalian, sebagai pasangan suami-istri."

Tepuk tangan lagi. Sekilas kutangkap pandangan Constantia kepadaku. Aku melihatnya, dan mencatatnya dalam hati.

---

(Constantia)

Aku melirik bangku-bangku para hadirin sekilas. Ya, Julian ada disana. Ikut bertepuk tangan, ikut tersenyum bahagia memandangku. Tapi aku tau, hatinya sepedih hatiku. Cincin ini seharusnya dilingkarkan di jarinya, bukan jari Clayton. Ialah yang seharusnya berdiri disampingku di altar ini, ialah yang seharusnya berjanji setia denganku. Julian, maaf..

---

Setelah lirikan singkat itu, mereka berdua berciuman. Tepuk tangan semakin keras terdengar. Aku tak mampu melihatnya lagi, aku langsung meninggalkan ruangan itu. Diluar, sedang hujan.. Sepertinya langit pun ikut menangis denganku. Aku berjalan diguyur siraman air hujan yang dingin, namun membangunkan jiwaku. Move on, Julian..

Separuh hatiku bersyukur, karena hujan. Saat berjalan dalam hujan, tak ada yang bakal tau kalau kau sedang menangis sejadi-jadinya.

---

Epilogue

"Julian Rynelf."

Mendengar namaku dipanggil, aku berjalan keatas panggung. Agak merepotkan berjalan dengan seragam wisuda yang begitu menjijikan, kasar dan panjang, apalagi tali di topiku terus menghalangi pandangan. Namun inilah saat bahagiaku. Saat aku meninggalkan bangunan suram bernama sekolah, untuk selama-lamanya! Dengan penuh rasa bangga aku menerima diploma dari Sir Lloyd, kepala sekolah (yang omong-omong, masih lajang di usianya yang ke 50. Dengan tatapan sinis Drake melirikku. Aku dan dia memang mengadakan taruhan, dan aku bertaruh Sir Lloyd masih tidak menikah saat kami lulus nanti. Ternyata benar).

"Woohoo!! Go Julian!!" teriak Drake dengan begitu bersemangat dari barisan murid-murid yang sudah dipanggil, dan tentu saja Sid dan Ray yang ada disampingnya langsung membuang muka karena malu. Aku nyengir lebar sambil menggabungkan diri di barisan mereka.

"1, 2, 3!!" teriak Drake ketika kami semua sudah berkumpul, dan dengan kompak aku dan 20 murid lain yang berpakaian persis sama melepaskan topi dan melemparkannya di udara. "Selamat tinggal sekolah!!"

Aku melihat berkeliling. Orangtuaku sedang berbincang-bincang dengan sosok familier yang langsung membuatku kaget. Miss Constantia!

Aku berlari menghampiri. Orangtuaku telah berpaling untuk berbincang dengan orang tua Sid, tapi Miss Constantia mengenaliku. "Julian!" sapanya gembira, menjabat tanganku erat-erat. "Selamat, ya, akhirnya kau lulus."

"Makasih, Miss," aku tersenyum. Sudah setahun aku tak bertemu dengan Miss Constantia, yang berhenti mengajar karena ingin lebih fokus kepada karir menulisnya. Tak banyak yang berubah darinya, senyumannya, tatapannya, semua sama. Kalau dilihat-lihat, aku sudah jauh lebih tinggi darinya sekarang.

"Apa kabar?" tanyaku.

"Tak banyak," ia tersenyum. "Sejak berhenti mengajar, aku mulai menulis buku yang akan segera diterbitkan. Sesekali kau harus berkunjung ke rumah, Anabelle kecil sangat menggemaskan."

Diam-diam aku membayangkan putri dari Constantia dan Clayton. Yah, kalau dilihat dari kedua orangtuanya, Anabelle pastilah sosok yang sangat cantik. Rambut keemasan Constantia, lalu mata hijau tegas milik Sir Clayton.. Sangat serasi, pikirku.

"Julian!" sebuah suara membangunkanku dari lamunanku. Seorang gadis cantik berlari tersaruk-saruk karena baju wisudanya. Aku merangkulnya dengan segera.

"Miss, kenalkan, ini Giselle," kataku memperkenalkan. "Anak baru, baru masuk 2 semester lalu. Dia ini.. kekasihku. Giselle, Miss Constantia ini dulu wali kelasku."

"Salam kenal, Miss," Giselle menjabat tangan Miss Constantia dengan ramah.

Sekali lagi aku menatap Miss Constantia. Tatapan itu berarti, I can finally delete you from my mind... But you'll always be a part of me..

---

13/02/10 - 14/02/10

For Dee, Ed, Brian, and all the other online freaks out there. Long live internet! :p